APHORISMS

An aphorism (literally "distinction" or "definition", from the Greek: ἀφορισμός, aphorismós, from ἀπό + ὁρίζειν, apo + horizein, "from/to bound") is an original thought, spoken or written in a laconic and memorable form

These are the unqiue and original sayings and quotes of Dean J. Baker Google+

©Dean J. Baker, 2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material that appears here or has appeared here without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. All material is covered by international intellectual property laws. All characters are the sole property of ©Dean J. Baker and have been so since 2005-2006. They may not be used in any form. Failure to comply with this will be taken as copyright infringement and plagiarism and acted upon with all and full legal means. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dean J. Baker with appropriate and specific direction to the original content, and the author is informed.

She said actions speak louder than words. I asked if she’d been hanging around Helen Keller again.

When I stepped to the head of the line at the bank, someone growled Do you mind. I said Nope, and minded my own business, unlike some people.

It’s safe to say Blackberry users got rimmed.

Vincent Van Gogh was murdered. The killers snuck up behind him. He didn't hear them coming.
Such is an artist's life. Can you 'ear me now?

All those win a trip contests? Id like to win a trip for people you never want to hear from again, to Siberia.

Violent sheep are always lead to slaughter by their sheer stupidity and lack of imagination.

Like to put in my 2 cents worth, but unfortunately everybody wants a dollar's worth and no one wants to pay.

It was a slow number and they were dancing really close. The music was loud. She'd whispered something into his ear. He lit up like a traffic light. She looked at him puzzled. Then said, No, I have acute angina.

Someone said once You're crude, rude, and lewd.....I said you mean I'm direct, truthful and inspired.. I can see where language can be helpful or hurtful - depending on your own circumscription ..so, bite me 
I mean that in a good way.

She said she wanted something to remember me by so I gave her a check that bounced.

You know how a politician spells farm. E-I-E-I-O.

Say hello.... prove your speech therapist is wrong.

I followed my dreams, and my passion.. but then the cops asked me what I thought I was doing.

Of course you've been to a store where they ask Can I help you.... My brother and I went into a store shopping sometime ago,

the woman said, 'Can I help you?' I replied, 'I'm doing fine, but he needs a psychiatrist' – where's the appreciation.

Rain rain... grrrrrrrrrrr... they say it's good for the vegetation, so all vegetables please go outside.

I like to help the elderly, young kids, and small animals. I think about it a lot. They say it’s the thought that counts, so I prefer to do it from my desk.. with chips…

I tried being normal, but had to give it up.

She said she was feeling religious, so I nailed her.

Cashier at chocolate store asks me, Do you want to contribute a $ to Alzheimers fund - I said I'm confused, do I?

You know that Serenity Prayer about accepting the things you cannot change? I'd like to hit whoever made that up with a shovel and say, 'Hey, accept that.'

God must love 'tards he made so many.

Next time they take a poll showing some assgoblin politician in the lead whom everybody supposedly hates I want them to re-take that poll in English.

Being curious, I like seeing which people turn around when someone(who knows) yells 'Hey, dumbass!' in a crowd at the mall. I enjoy the social life.

If I open the door for you I am simply being polite, and a gentleman. It is not because I can then stare at your ass. Such cynicism.

We must give thanks to the humble Chickens, for they so loved the world that they sacrificed their only child to it.. again, and again.. and again.
Don't get all scrambled on me now.

Saw a movie the other night about Old Timer’s disease.. I think.

The reason they call it the Golden Years is cause you can’t stop peeing. An older friend of mine said he had to have a part of his colon removed, and they might have to attach a bag. I said well don’t get pissed.  As long as no one asks how’s it hanging, we can sit around and smoke some shit.

Went for an eye exam the other day but I couldn’t find the place.

People who gauge how good you are, your work, by how popular you are or through with whom you associate, are nervous monkeys dancing on the keys of culture who will never have the slightest idea of depth, richness and true cultural value, especially so for poets.

Political correctness is a euphemism for dictatorship through the lowest common denominator, a conceit engendered by a government of fear and a people easily manipulated.

Your Circle of Willis is clogged with fecaliths.

©Dean J. Baker 2010-2011. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material that appears here or has appeared here without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Dean J. Baker with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

more to come.......